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The wrong guy

I finally think I know why I want the wrong person every time. EL and I had a talk about this. I was trying to give her advice and I realized I was talking about myself too.

I want the wrong person because they are the wrong person. The wrong person is easy and safe in an idiotic way. I know it won’t work out with him. I know he’ll give me a reason to dump him. I’ll get an out.

I won’t get overly attached. I won’t feel bad about being a bitch. And I know the relationship will end.

I won’t have to make a commitment forever. He won’t be the last person I am ever with. I won’t be trapped, it won’t be as terrifying. It’s a temporary relationship, just like all my previous temporary relationships. Safe, easy, and short term.

And it’s easy to leave when it stops being easy. I don’t have to feel bad for ending things with the wrong guy. I certainly won’t regret it. And I never have to put in the effort to fix things.

But the wrong guy makes no sense for the long term. I want a good relationship. I want to be happy. I want to get married someday. And I want all that with the right guy. So I need to start choosing him.


2 responses »

  1. Gah, I have run open armed to “the wrong person” so many times. And– I always KNOW! People talk about red flags and all that, but… it’s not like we don’t see them! I know that for myself, I tend to know exactly what I’m doing when I make that bad decision. *sigh*
    I think I finally chose right… he wasn’t anything like I expected and he certainly didn’t dazzle me from the start, but he’s a keeper through and through. If this can happen for me, it can happen for A N Y O N E.
    So, take heart 🙂

  2. I somehow never saw the red flags, except in retrospect. Until now. And now; I may be over-compensating, but I bolt like a frightened deer when I see one. I am starting to feel hopeful again that I can be trusted to make the right choice in the future.


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