I was talking to my therapist about eating disorders and she said two things I want to try to remember:
Alcoholics get to slay their dragons; anorexics and bulimics have to kiss theirs.
Eating disorders are the hardest things to overcome. Alcoholics can stop going to bars, stop buying alcohol, stop drinking. Drug addicts can do the same. Gamblers can avoid casinos. People with eating disorders can’t avoid food. I can’t stop eating. Not eating IS the problem. I have to face it three times a day, every day, for the rest of my life. And I will probably never stop having disordered thoughts about food. I’ll probably never stop having disordered behaviors and desires and impulses. All I can do is try every day to behave as healthily as I can.
It’s something I have to live with, intimately. There will never be some great battle where I defeat my issues. I’ll just hopefully, eventually learn to deal with it.