I know that some of my anxieties and fears stem from the fact that I am still not sure I can protect myself. Not whether or not I am capable of it. But whether I will, when I need to. I still don’t trust myself to care for my own needs.
I have failed on this front so many times that I can no longer make myself feel safe. I worry on a regular basis that I haven’t changed. I worry that I won’t do what I need to do. I worry that I won’t listen to myself or stand up for myself.
Even though I know I have been doing much better lately, I’m still not convinced. I still haven’t proven myself. I still don’t know if I’ll make the right choices.
I can’t go back in time and fix my mistakes. I can’t go back and protect myself from all the things that happened. I can’t make it all better for the person I was back then.
But I can help heal the person I am now. I can prove myself every day. I can make the right choices and do the smart thing and protect myself now. I can learn to make myself better.